Sunday Scribblings - Grateful - 11/23/08

For the past few weeks I have not been feeling very grateful. This makes me mad at myself. I have so many reasons to be grateful, but I have let one thing push me down and cause me to doubt myself and my abilities. I have lost my job.
With Thanksgiving just a few days away, this is the time of the year that everyone is thinking about the good things in their lives, but right now all I can think about is……..I have no job. It is strange to just be at my house day in and day out. I should be enjoying getting caught up on everything and I would be if I was just on vacation, but I’m not.
I am searching the employment sites and sending out resumes, but in three weeks, I haven’t been able to secure even one interview. Sad but true. I am telling myself things will be better tomorrow, but tomorrow comes and it’s the same. I am a sales person, so why can’t I sell myself.
I want to push this problem off my soul and get on with whatever is to come. Over the years I have come to know things will come together when I let them go.
Writing this has made me feel a little better, maybe I should say a little more grateful than I was this morning. Perhaps by Thanksgiving Day I will be able to give thanks and really mean it.

Sunday Scribblings - Change - 11/9/08

When I saw the prompt for this week’s Sunday Scribblings. I thought most people would be thinking about our recent national election, since for months all we have been hearing is how much America needs change. And perhaps we do, but that is not what I thought about today when I saw the prompt. I thought of daddy’s change.
For as far back as I can remember, nightly I would hear the sound of coins being dropped into a glass jar that sat on the floor beside the night stand in my parents’ bedroom. I thought every man did this, but as I grew older, I found out this wasn’t true. The fact was my father hated change, especially nickels! I tried to figure this out, but as a child this was above my thinking. To me money was money, no matter if it was paper or change.
As the years passed, we counted his change, or I should say I counted his change. I learned to count by counting pennies and he helped me learn to make change. Over the years, daddy’s change did many things for us. It took us to Washington, DC and to Florida. Once I counted his change and that weekend we headed to Myrtle Beach, SC. Over the years his change bought surprises for many different people.
As I got older, we made a deal. I counted, rolled and took it to the bank for paper money and for doing this I got to keep all the nickels myself. I remember once there was $42 in nickels. We kept this deal in place until daddy passed away. Several months after daddy’s death my mother called to ask me to come by the house, when I got there she had found one last jar of change. We made a decision, to keep daddy’s change just like he left it. So there it stays for now.

Three Word Wednesday - Deliberate, Intervene, Nourish - 55 Flash Fiction Friday

Do you lament over your past decisions? Did your efforts to nourish actually enable? Did your family and friends offer worthless advice without any understanding of the hell of addiction? Did you deliberate your options?

Did you fight to save her from herself? Did you intervene and bring her the help she needed? Hell, yes!

Sunday Scribblings - Wedding - 9/28/08

When I saw the prompt this week instantly I thought of Betty. Several years ago I worked with her and we were friends. She had six children, two boys and four girls. By the time we met, her children were older, three already out of her house and on their own, two still in college and one a senior in high school.

We had almost every day contact for over ten years. During those years, I heard updates on all six children often. I remember the day she told me that her baby girl was getting married. I thought she might be emotional since Ginger was the last one at home so I just let her talk. I wanted to be a shoulder if she needed one.

Betty started talking about Ginger’s plans for the wedding. She talked about the church, number of attendants, flowers, and colors for the wedding, food for the reception. As she talked I thought, “I wonder what all of this is going to cost?”

Betty was excited about the upcoming wedding or so I thought. And then she told me of an offer they had made to Ginger. Betty and Gene offered Ginger the money for all new kitchen appliances including washer and dryer, new furniture for her entire house plus $20,000 for a down payment on a house they wanted to buy if she would just elope. Ginger declined their offer.

The wedding was gorgeous and just, as Ginger wanted. Betty and Gene paid for everything. The pictures were beautiful, something a couple would cherish always.

I want you to know Gene and Betty were not against the marriage just the wedding. For you see with experience comes knowledge and by this time they had been part of five other weddings and they knew what could happen.

And much to their sorrow it did happen. In less than 3 years Ginger and her husband were divorced. Here in North Carolina, it takes a full year of separation to get a divorce so their real marriage lasted less than 2 years. So what Ginger really got for all the money Betty and Gene paid was beautiful wedding pictures with a man who cheated on her.

So if they had eloped, she wouldn’t have all those beautiful pictures in the white leather wedding book to remind her of the loser she married. But she might have had the house she wanted so much. (They never purchased that house; they didn’t have a down payment.)

Sunday Scribblings - Invitation - 9/21/08

I was talking with my daughter, Julie, last week. She was going over her schedule for the upcoming week. It is something we have done for several years now. It helps us stay in touch a little better. And we seem to worry less about each other since we started exchanging schedules. Now I want you to know it’s not like we go over every tiny detail just an overview. She mentioned a Sunday afternoon football party. I thought it sounded like a lot of fun, but she went on to tell me more about it and then I knew she didn’t really care to go, but she was going. She believes you should go when invited unless you have another engagement already on the schedule. In return she believes people will attend your parties when ask.

Later on in the week Julie called to tell me about a situation that occurred with a friend of hers. She mentioned the football party to a friend just in general conversation and found out that MK had NOT been invited. MK was very upset! The host has been to her home on several occasions for parties including football parties. MK just couldn’t understand why she wasn’t invited.

After several minutes of talking about the situation, MK told Julie she wouldn’t have attended the party, but thought she should have been invited.

I have thought about this many times over the years, but for the life of me I can’t decide why most women feel this way. It doesn’t really matter about the event, whether you want to go or not…..actually it’s all about the invitation.

Sunday Scribblings - 55 Flash Fiction Friday - "Coffee" - 9/14/08

Here early working on HIS paperwork so I can get mine done in time. I hear the sounds of co-workers arriving. The minutes of my precious morning time have slipping away. Everyone is now hard at work. Thirty-three minutes late I hear HIM arrive. And then the dreaded command…..COFFEE!!!! I am not a waitress……….

Sunday Scribblings - Miracle - 9/7/08

When I saw the prompt for this week, my mind flashed. I saw replays of many things I consider to be miracles in my life. Sometimes I feel I am the luckiest person in the world and other times I seem to forget how lucky I am.

I watched a beautiful person I love very much change their life of addiction and become a productive member of society.

One night several years ago (I had just gotten my first computer a few months before) I was on Yahoo, looking around and found a site where you could post comments and ask for others to respond back to you. I responded and met a friend and soul mate. The site was gone the next day. (We both looked for it.)

Birth, this is for sure a miracle. Two beautiful, healthy children, three perfect grandchildren. I am so lucky to have them in my life.

I don’t think it is possible for me to list all of my miracles. I know that I experience many each and every day and for that I am so very thankful……..




Another miracle........my beautiful Outer Banks........

55 Flash Fiction Friday - 9/5/08

It has been several weeks since I have posted. I am blaming summer for my blank mind but it’s other things. Each week I have checked the prompts, but no thoughts. Finally this week a thought or two came. A tiny miracle has happened! It feels good to be writing again. I hope to continue.

Thursday 13- My Favorite 13 Foods 6/12/08

And these are in order. Some of these may seem strange to you, but I can’t help which foods taste the best to me, can I?

1. Green Beans (Cooked anyway. I’m southern you know.)

2. Summer Tomatoes (Not those middle of the winter ones, ugh)

3. Crème Brulee (OMG, this is just to die for.)



4. Pork Ribs (Not beef, with Carolina sauce or the dry rub ones are not as messy, but still great.)

5. Filet Mignon (I know, I shouldn’t eat this, but I do, sometimes)

6. Chicken Marsala (There are several places that I order this, some are better than others.)

7. Cheese Cake (With fruit topping and a little whip cream.)

8. Pork Chops (Lightly breaded and fried)

9. Mash Potatoes (Real ones, not instant, with real butter.)



10. Homemade Brownies (with walnuts, no icing.)

11. Sourdough Bread (with dipping sauce and/or butter)

12. Hot Krispy Kreme Donuts (just the plain ones and only when they are hot)

13. Homemade Deep-Dish Blackberry Pie (I couldn’t hardly decide, it was a toss up. I do love Sweet Potato Pie just about as much.)



After seeing my list, I guess you now know why I find it so hard to eat the foods that are suppose to be good for me. I am hoping that my genes are good and what I eat isn’t going to kill me or shorten my life. All my grandparents lived well into their late 80’s and my favorite grandmother lived to 94 years old.

Food seems to bring people together. And that is a good thing!

3 Word Wednesday & 55 Flash Fiction Friday

I am combining Three Word Wednesday and 55 Fiction Friday again this week. The prompts were Change, Key and Dizzy.



Change, I can’t. I know the consequences. I’m killing my family and myself. I need her car key to leave. Can they hold me here against my will? I can’t think, I’m sick, dizzy achy. Thank you God, found it! In my pocket I feel Mom’s ring. I am gone………..I can’t stop, help me.

Wordless Wednesday-6/11/08

Sunday Scribblings "My Nights" and Writer's Island "Unexpected"

My writing time has been limited recently so I decided to combine Sunday Scribblings and Writer's Island this week. The prompts worked well together for me. Sunday Scribblings prompt was My Nights and the prompt for Writer's Island was Unexpected.





My insecurities always surface when I am alone and the darkness comes. I don’t like feeling the anxiety that comes with them. I am in hotel rooms at least 4 nights each week so I try to hide myself in activities to avoid the fear that comes each night. I do endless paperwork, play computer games, talk on the phone, and watch TV, write and read trying to busy myself until bedtime. I play the TV all night because the fear of waking to an unexpected sound doesn’t allow me to have silence. I must have light in the room to keep the shadows away.




I don’t let my family or friends know about "my nights" because that would show weakness and that is not acceptable! I like being independent and having insecurities and fear doesn’t exactly fit with independence. The good thing is just as the darkness comes each day so does the light. Strange as it is, I love "my nights" just not when I am alone.

3 Word Wednesday & 55 Flash Fiction Friday

I enjoy combining Three Word Wednesday and 55 Fiction Friday. It makes me feel like a real writer. The prompts for this week were Deny, Smile and Uncomfortable.



I see it on your face. The uncomfortable feeling in my stomach tells me I am right. Should I confront you? You will deny it, but that won’t make it untrue. Should I reciprocate? Revenge, so sweet, the thought makes me smile. Would you feel this stabbing hurt? The real question is why. Explain…….please.

3 Word Wednesday & 55 Flash Fiction Friday

Combining Three Word Wednesday and 55 Fiction Friday works for me. Prompts were match, blurred, and illegal:

I don’t have the understanding I need. It’s so hot the sun has blurred my vision. This is my first match. From behind the trees…I would like to move the ball, but that would be illegal. I guess I will just have to just watch patiently as my grandson plays his first golf tournament.

3 Word Wednesday & 55 Flash Fiction Friday

The prompts for 3 Word Wednesday are delayed, edge, and focus. I decided to combine the 3WW with Friday Flash 55.

I have done all I can do. Everything should be in order. I am on edge. My mind is racing. There is nothing I can do to make myself focus my thoughts elsewhere. What is the delay? Finally, the clerk emerges and calls my name. I have passed my driving test. Next, the dreaded picture.

Thursday 13 - Conserving - 5/15/08

In today’s economy I am finding it necessary to seek out ways to save in order to stretch my budget. Well, if I am ever going to be able to buy another GREAT pair of shoes guilt free, streamlining my expenses is a necessary evil.

It’s not that I buy everything I want, but I like to fool myself into believing I can buy anything I really want. (This is not a truth, but you know if you can fool yourself long enough, your mind will give in and let you believe it. It just makes everything easier.)

Well back to my original thoughts, over the past month or so I have been writing down ways to save, things that I can reduce or eliminate entirely. I have to say that trying to be frugal is hard for me.

So here goes:

1. Turn off lights when not needed. (I am one of those people that just leave the lights on when I leave the room, well because I will be going back in there sooner or later.)

2. Replace old light bulbs with the energy efficient ones. (I have only replaced 3 to date. Those bulbs really cost a lot, but I know in the long run they will save more.)

3. Make a grocery list BEFORE going to the store, and only buying the items on the list. (I seem to make many impulse buys as I am rolling thought the store.)

4. NEVER grocery shop when I am hungry. (This will save me. I don’t know about you, but if I am hungry, I will buy like there is no tomorrow.)

5. Cancel my fax phone line. (I have done this already. This will be a savings of approximately $30 per month. I have had this phone line for 12 years. Who has a phone line just for faxing anymore? This was a hard thing for me to cancel.)

6. Check water level in each wash load. (I started this a few months ago, when my water bill was $90 for 2 people. It is saving about $10 to $15 per bill. I have one of those extra capacity washers. I had no idea about how much or how little water I needed, but I do now.)

7. Comparison shop auto and home insurance. (I don’t mean get some fly by night insurance company. Compare my current rates with another reputable company or 2. Check with my current insurance company to be sure that I am getting all the discounts that I am eligible to receive.)

8. Cancel telephone company answering service. (I can use my answering machine even if I can’t get a message when the phone is in use. I am not that important! A savings of $4 per month)

9. Change cell phone plan. (I have done this. I changed my company to go with one that offered free calling to 5 numbers, plus I reduced my plan. A savings of approximately $22 per month.)

10. Check cell phone plans at my other cell phone company. (Yes, I have 2 cell phones! I know I am crazy, but somehow it just worked out this way. In my defense, I work away from home and I have a fear that I won’t be able to call for help if I need it, so with 2 phones, I feel more secure. As you can see I have “a thing” about phones.)

11. Organize and make a list. (To avoid useless driving and wasted gas, to make sure I know why I am going out and have my errands listed in order . I feel that I will be able to save in many ways doing this. This one will be hard for me to incorporate into my mind!!)

12. Pay for gas at the pump. (This way store personnel will not see me crying….only kidding. This will stop me from buying a snack and a coke, plus help my waistline. A savings of at least $2 per fill up.)

13. List all expenditures for a month. (Now this will be hard for me, but I believe it will be helpful. I am sure this will be the last one I will do.)

Saving is not an easy thing. I am going to do my best to do all the things I have listed above and more as friends and family discuss their plans to off set the rising costs of so many things.

For me I think planning and organization will be 2 things that will save me the most for the long haul. Maybe I will save so much and become so frugal I won’t even care about GREAT shoes!!

Thursday 13 - The Letter B - May 1, 2008

The prompt was to select a letter and then thirteen words that I felt described me. I selected the letter “B”. I am not listing these in any order of importance.

1. Blonde
2. Blue-eyed
3. Blessed
4. Bargain Shopper
5. Brave
6. Breakable
7. Benevolent
8. Boots
9. Beach Lover
10. Betrayed
11. Befriended
12. Bewildered
13. Belle

Wordless Wednesday - 4/30/08

Wordless Wednesday - 4/23/08

Sunday Scribblings - Composed - April 20, 2008

I sometimes wonder how I am able to hold so many things inside without letting the people around me know I am almost ready to explode. I want the people I love to be able to count on me and they do.

Most of the time I feel they use my willingness to help and guilt to pressure me. The next thing I know I have agreed to commitments that I don’t have time for. When I am “spread so thin” I can’t get my timing right. Either I am late or not prepared when I get there. Either way the end results are not what I wanted……so more guilt.

I have guilt because I travel during the week for work, so I only have the weekends to get everything done at home. Let me tell you it is very hard to maintain a home, get ready for the upcoming week, get reports e-mailed, take your mother out to breakfast on Saturday, see your husband, daughter, son, grandchildren, go to a ballgame and eat Sunday lunch at your mother’s house. And somewhere in all of this, I have to wash my hair, paint my nails and rub a little lotion on my body.

On the outside I am composed, laughing, talking moving through this life of mine,

but on the inside I am fragmented, totally a crazy woman!

And the funny part I am the only one that knows the secret. And now I have told you.

3 Word Wednesday & 55 Flash Fiction Friday

My boyfriend is down on one knee with a red rose, holding my friend’s hand; asking her to marry him. I am too visible, as I watch this touching event take place on the stage right beside me. I don’t want to be present, but here I am, a spotlight on the three of us.

Writer's Island - Flight -4/13/08

My daddy loved birdhouses. I never knew why, but even as a very young child I knew that he loved to build them. He would somehow find these scrap pieces of wood, tin & shingles and the next thing you would know he would be hanging a new birdhouse. Sometimes he would paint them bright colors and at other times he would put no paint at all. Once I ask him about why he didn’t paint them all. And he answered he thought the birds should have a choice and that made perfect sense to me.

As I began to get older, I noticed that in the early evening, daddy would go and sit on the porch and watch the wildlife in our back yard. Although we lived on a major highway, our back yard spilled into the woods, so we had rabbits, squirrels, snakes and of course many species of birds. It was like daddy was watching over the animals just like he did me as I played.



One evening I was sitting with him; we heard loud squawking. Just as we looked up, we saw a baby bird falling. In less than a second, the mother bird took off to join her offspring in the air. I believe they were talking to each other because just inches above the ground, the baby began to fly. I could tell the mother was so proud. They were in flight together…the baby struggling…….the mother strong and protecting.

What an amazing sight. That was when, I knew why daddy built birdhouses.

Sunday Scribblings - Fearless - 4/13/08

I think fear makes us fearless. I believe all people have at least one “thing” they would protect at any cost! I don’t know what your “thing” is, but I feel sure you have one.

Thank goodness for the many people that have more than just one. I think of our military personnel

and I am so grateful for their sacrifices. They leave their families and homes to protect us. I see
law enforcement officers,

firemen,

and volunteers from many different groups become fearless for you and me.
On the news, I hear about ordinary people finding the courage and unexpected strength to save someone they don’t even know. I read about people who put their fear aside and donate bone marrow and organs to help save lives.

Fear somehow gives us courage and with courage we become fearless.

Thursday 13 - Television Characters - 4/10/08

I have wanted to start writing a blog, but was just wasn’t sure how to begin, didn’t know what to write about, you know all the things that run through your head when you are unsure of yourself. I don’t know if others have this problem, but for me….. it is a huge problem!

After reading Rick’s thirteen TV characters, I felt inspired. So now is the time for me to step up and just begin. So here are thirteen of my favorite TV characters. They are in no particular order though I would put Norton and Kramden number 1.

1. Jack Bauer. This is the man that I would want with me if I were ever in BIG trouble.

2. Chris Grissom/Horatio Caine. I know they are not on the same show, but they do the same things, so I just couldn’t decide which to choose.

3. Richard Fish. I just loved the Barry White music.

4. Dan Connors. It takes a very good man to put up with Roseanne.

5. Niles and Fraser Crane. I just couldn’t separate them.

6. Andy Sipowicz. He got his life together.

7. Ralph Kramden and Ed Norton. What a great twosome.

8. Special Agent Seeley Booth/Angel. I just think he is so handsome.

9. Charlie Harper. Another handsome man.

10. Mork. Nothing more needs to be said.

11. George Costanza and Cosmo Kramer. Another great twosome.

12. Adrian Monk. Brilliant but damaged.

13. Deputy Police Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson. I love her because her life has as much chaos as mine.